Road Trip… Thelma and Louise Style!

Rain, mountains, construction, random men under a bridge, GPS failure, helpful strangers, too much fast food, detours… it’ll be fun we said!

One of my forever friends asked if I’d come help her move…meaning fly to Richmond, Virginia, help with last-minute things and share the driving back to our home state of Michigan. Sure, I said, it’ll be nice to catch up; and miles go faster when we’re chatting away.

Thelma wasn’t sure of exact dates, so I bought a refundable one-way ticket just in case. I would help clean the condo, pack the back of her CRV and we’d head out first thing Sunday morning; a good day to drive, we thought, get in seven hours so the next day, Monday, would be less; ensuring we’d get to my town, drop me off and she’d get to her place before dark. She had the route figured out, a motel booked a little more than half-way and shared the highways and cities along the way with me, so I’d be familiar when it was Louise’s turn to drive. Great plan…timing and specific details always work out well! 😅

As the time grew closer, we worried about hurricane Helene impacting flights, but no worries…northeast Virginia was quite sunny and pleasant the day I arrived. Uber dropped me off at her place around noon. It was empty of furniture… two folding chairs, comforters and pillows to sleep on the floor that night, plastic cups for wine and odds and ends waiting to be boxed. We had all afternoon to clean and toss and pack… but what did we do? We talked, we went for lunch, then dinner, we had wine breaks. And the bright idea to carry the boxes to garage…but not actually put them in the car. They were heavy, different sizes, where to start, how to keep it low enough to see out the rear-view mirror? Neither of us thought it would work…so, as Scarlet said, “tomorrow is another day; tomorrow we’ll think of a way…”

Up Sunday morning bright and early as planned. We’d just settled in the chairs with coffee when Thelma said, “I think I left my credit card at the restaurant last night!” We had to wait till 11:00 when they opened to call and check, so we got busy cleaning the fridge, last-minute packing. We now had a new goal of leaving by noon!🤞 She texted a neighbor asking if he wanted any of her frozen foods, and luckily….so, so lucky… he said yes, he’d be over soon. I stayed to clean the stove top while she went to retrieve the card. As soon as Mr. Helpful, the nicest neighbor ever, walked through the garage, he knew!

Leave it to a guy to rearrange, eyeball measurements, find tiny spaces and put little boxes into bigger ones! We took turns sitting behind the wheel to make sure we had clear vision in back. One last walk-through and potty, we backed down the driveway at 11:55. Another five minutes thanking him, waving and saying goodbye and Thelma got us out of there. We were on our way!

Another sunny day as we merged onto highway I65W. We’d decided on switching drivers about every two hours, stretch our legs, grab a bite. No need for gas till we stopped for the night. As we headed west, I was delighted to see the Appalachian and Blue Ridge Mountain ranges as we drove along.

Our original map; “Almost heaven…West Virgina, mountain Mama” … where we missed our turn for I70 to Fort Wayne.

As we passed through Charlottesville and Stanton, the sun and clouds played tug-of-war; the clouds growing darker and our anxiety perking up. Rain drops started sprinkling, then it came down harder, faster, heavier…We Could Not See a Thing! “Just follow the white line,” I encouraged. I could see it and kept telling her “You’re doing great!” Traffic had slowed way down, but we could barely see taillights ahead. We realized they all had both blinkers flashing!

T…Find ours, think it’s at the top, or maybe at the bottom.

L…I see a red triangle…going to press it! Whew…no one will rear end us now!

Actually, we were pretty quiet and maybe not even breathing as we stayed in our lane and followed the car ahead. Scary that we couldn’t see green signs for exits; if we’d even gotten off, could we see a stop sign, a stop light?? Seemed better to keep calm and keep driving.

My attempts at generating AI images took forever. Women always with long hair, older women with gray hair. We are eighty, but short blond and brunette hair is correct. This is how we felt as Jesus took the wheel!

Seemed longer than it was; around the next curve and it lightened up, brightened up. We sighed with relief and hope that that was the end of it. It was not. We drove in and out of Helene’s torrential rains several times. As we stopped to switch drivers in the late afternoon, I called the Holiday Inn in Chillicothe to cancel our reservation, explaining the weather slowdowns and not wanting to drive after dark. The front desk rep graciously waived our room and cancelation fees. We just wanted to get to Charleston now.

Louise’s turn to guide us through the driving rain as Thelma watched the white line. Thank God for white lines on highways…they are lifelines! I was getting nervous as the sky grew darker too. We had about another hour to go. As the rain slowed and we could drove a bit faster, Thelma noticed the gas gauge…empty! We never heard the warning beep at fifty miles…now it was completely red; we kinda panicked not knowing how much was left. “We need to get off at the next exit,” she said. And there it was-just ahead. As I came off the exit ramp a sign pointed left. It was a narrow dirt road leading nowhere, so it seemed. It was creepy, dark and misty as I slowly followed the path…that’s what I called it! It led under the highway and suddenly, there were parked pickup trucks with a group of men standing around. Oh geez! Saw this in a movie I thought as I sped up.

“Stop! Stop right here,” Thelma said as she opened the door and ran back to them. I wanted to back up and make sure she was okay; I also wanted to lock the doors and call for help. She came back in one piece with directions! Turn around, back to the highway, go about five more miles to a Truck Plaza. Oh, dear God…let’s hope we can make it.

I pulled into the Plaza…gas, restrooms and food choices…yay! I stopped at the pump, let her take over while I went to ask about nearby motels. We met inside and found a few snacks as the eateries were closing up for the night. The young employees at Starbucks were still there, so I leaned in through the pulled down screen and asked. Ten miles ahead, came the best news of the day! McCorkle on the outskirts of Charleston had several choices. That exit was the weirdest…curving round and round like a spiral staircase before we finally got off. Scary dark and never-ending rain…Thelma did it again, got us to safety!

Tucked in behind other buildings, we found a Holiday Inn Express; I checked in and before unpacking our gear, we headed to Applebee’s up the street, still determined to have a decent meal and drinks! A margarita never tasted so good as we relaxed and nibbled on chips and salsa. “Those men were very nice,” my travel buddy shared…we hadn’t mentioned that sketchy scene at all in our haste to get gas, find shelter and raise a glass! It appeared to be a work crew winding up for the night, she explained. We laughed at all the scenarios we could think of; glad I hadn’t abandoned her in fear.

As we plopped on the queen beds with our overnight totes and snacks, ready to shower and call it a night…Thelma realized she didn’t have her evening meds. In a box somewhere in the back of the tightly packed car, there we were with umbrellas and flashlights reaching and peeking in this and that with no luck. Just as we turned off the lights and rolled over, she mentioned it was for AFib. Ghaaa…” please don’t be dead in the morning.” Geez Louise!

We were up and out by 9…full of free breakfast and eager to get a move on. The road we needed was right there…a toll road. I was driving and not familiar with them. “You just throw a few quarters in the tray,” offered my passenger. Ahh no…we had to push a button to get a ticket…was I close enough, no…nothing behind me so I backed up and pulled closer. Around a few curves and an early morning traffic jam! Slow and steady we crept along…turned out that cars had to merge into one lane due to construction. Not to be outdone in a shitty start to our day, clouds darkened the sky as sprinkles hit the windshield again. Next stop, Dayton area.

After a stretch and quick lunch, we switched drivers and soon entered Ohio. Just back on the road when the GPS stopped working. We knew we were headed in the right direction, but unnerving as we realized how dependent we were on it. We had wanted to avoid I75 and stay on our current road toward Fort Wayne. Our anxiety was creeping in, so Thelma stopped at the next exit and pulled into the first parking lot we saw to figure it out. Her phone was connected to the car…could it be her phone…her brand-new phone from Verizon? We looked up and saw we were at Auto Zone…bless their hearts. In we went to ask if anyone could “fix” her connection to the car navigation. Kind strangers helping two older ladies ‘in distress’...LOL They were employees with local knowledge…lucky us again! “Verizon is out of service all over the place.” They advised us to take 75 to the interchange with 70, then onto 127…easy-peasy they said. “How long on 75?” we asked at the same time. Eight miles…we could handle that!

Louise as the passenger, dropped the ball watching for signs to tell us when to get off. As four lanes suddenly opened to about twenty something...there it was…way, way over to the right and we did not make it. I had one job! A better heads up would be nice, Ohio!

I used my phone (ATT) and saw we could get off at Wapakoneta onto highway 33, recalling how many times my husband and I did this during our Georgia years. At some point we switched again, and I was in familiar territory now. On my own, I use avoid highways when I can…but I sure didn’t want it now. We had a few slow-going, one-lane back roads (I passed a semi…passenger didn’t like it)🫣zigzagging to Fort Wayne, then a straight shot up 69 to another toll road. We were tired, hungry and concerned that we still had miles to go before we’d sleep.

Midwest flatlands never looked so good! How grateful I am to have shared this adventure with you. (Image courtesy of Mark Rogan at ICanvas)

Interstate toll road 80/90 and I was ready this time…push button, take ticket. It was 5:30ish when we got off in Middlebury and drove straight north onto 131 to Pure Michigan! One lane opened to two lanes; we were almost there!

Close but no cigar…detour signs ahead. “This project’s been going on forever I mumbled” as I bypassed the detour route for a shorter one, knowing these back roads by heart. It was getting late but thank goodness for long dusky evenings as the sun sets slowly in this corner of our state. We pulled into my drive, texted our kids-Thelma using my phone, used the bathroom and hugged goodbye. She still had another 30 minutes to her place. I took off my shoes and bra, poured some wine and waited for her text that she’d arrived safe and sound too.

We did it. Nothing went according to plan, but we handled it! We may be growing along, but we’ve still got it…bad ass, fun, sassy, brave, younger and stronger than you’d think. You never know who’s in your rear-view mirror! 😉

Be well, be happy, be kind! Joanie/Joan

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🎶Didn’t forget about Brad… and the great music on movie soundtrack! Maybe if we’d seen Sam Elliot hitching…🤔Martha Reeves brings it all back! 🎶